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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Weight Watchers Wagon

I fell off the Weight Watchers wagon.   I joined; I lost 30 lbs and then I fell off the wagon.

Sigh.

I gained most of the weight back.  20lbs and back up a size.  Now I have clothes that would be perfect for this time of year--if they weren't too tight.

I'm back on track now and have lost 13lbs which means 7 more lbs before I'm back where I was when I fell off the wagon.  Frustrating but  I know what I did to get off track but the trick is going to be to not fall off the wagon again.

I typically do better in the summer when it is hot (and I don't have much of an appetite); my stress level is also MUCH lower during the summer.

The school year definitely contributed to my slip-up.  The stress of work and my hectic, harried schedule resulted in poor food choices, limited physical activity and failure to track my points.  Hence the weight regain has opposed to continuing to lose.

Tackling the weight issue makes me reflect and analyze what got me here in the first place.  I was not an overweight child or teen. It started in college naturally--thanks to Papa Johns and their campus special--but I danced, so it wasn't too much of a weight gain. 

It was when I quit dancing and moved out on my own that the steady weight gain began but taking my current job seems to have led to the most weight gain.

I've never liked to cook and unfortunately, the foods that are fast, cheap and easy are bad for you.  I had a one hour commute to and from work that first year at this job.  I did a pretty good job not succumbing to the fast food drive-thru but by the time I made it home, I was tired and the processed-out-of-the-box meals were the order of the day.  Workouts were virtually non-existent even though I belong to a gym because I never had the time to get there and friends who pledged to go together for moral support--bailed--all of us.

The next year the commute was shorter but I picked up two extra-curricular activities and had even less time. Things got worse from there.

As the atmosphere grew  more and more toxic at my place of employment,  the more miserable and stressed-out I became and the more weight I gained.    I've noticed that many of my colleagues have similar problems.  We're stressed out, sick and overweight.

In one breath, our boss will tell us that she respects our time and in the next, she lists all the events, activities and games that she would like us to attend.  "It means so much to the kids."  And it does mean  a lot to them, I get that but we have multiple events going on nearly every night of the week.  It is impossible to do our early morning required duties, teach all day, attend meetings (during planning and after school), plan for our classes, grade our students' work, mentor individual students, coach extracurriculars, eat, wash dishes, do laundry, see family and friends AND attend all of our students events.  There's just not enough hours in a day. 

I love my students and I love teaching but the toxic and chaotic atmosphere of the place is stifling.  We're (hopefully) in the end stages of a massive construction project and I hope that the chaos is because of that.  The last minute meetings and administrative lack of planning causing emergencies on our parts has cut into my gym time and into my life.  By the end of the day, I'm exhausted and only want to collapse on the couch.

This year is going to be different.  I'm vowing to keep up my good habits from this summer as the school year begins.  This year, I no longer coach and I have no plans to pick up any extra curricular activities.  I plan to follow the example of a former colleague who retired last year.  LC did not miss her regular gym appointments; when meetings ran long, she would declare that she had to go and would leave.  Just like that.  She would leave and the world didn't end.

I have decided that she's my hero and I'm following her example...in many things.  She didn't let the stress get to her and she always made time for herself.

I'm going to take care of my students.  I'm going to teach them what they need to know and do my damnedest to avoid all the departmental drama.  I'm going to have a life outside of that building.

That being said...it is time to brave the heat, go to the gym and then go work on putting my classroom back together.

Wish me luck.

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